I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
