She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
