how hairy? two words: wookie tits
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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