What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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