16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize
