just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
