I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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