WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
