you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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