Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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