Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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