That's intense
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Randomize
