do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
