My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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