He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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