let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
