Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
