ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
