His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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