So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
