The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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