Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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