despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize