"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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