At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
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