Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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