shes about as inviting as chlamydia
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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