You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
