Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
