im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I have peed in a lot of sinks
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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