guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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