Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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