i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Floor bacon is actually really good
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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