??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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