I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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