i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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