Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
So. Much. Porn.
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