my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
