I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize