all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
