Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
