This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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