Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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