I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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