so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
