Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
It all started with a game of naked twister.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
