You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
