She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize