This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
