Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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