I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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