So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
