So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
