The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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