were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
