Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
