is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
