No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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