We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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