I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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