dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
