at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
