I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
