Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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