Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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