It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize