All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
