Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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