I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize