ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
