My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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