her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
