hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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