I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
