dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize