lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
