You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
That accounts for only three of the penises
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
