Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
